Hair I Am

        I'd be lying if I said that fashion, in terms of clothing, doesn't affect me. I do put thought into what I wear, although some days are more scrupulous than others. However, I can confidently say that I don't let clothing dictate who I am. I have always been a goofy, free-spirited person no matter what article of clothing is on my body. I think this is why I've had a consistent style all my life; a style which I like to define as, "tomboy meets boho/girly twist." That doesn't paint the clearest of pictures because in a sense it's contradictory; so here's the best was I can explain it - on some days I'd much rather hang out in sweats and a t-shirt and on others I like to throw on a flowy dress and put on some make-up. But then again, aren't most people like that? We all have a "style" we like to lean
towards, but to constantly adhere to the confines of that one style would be both suffocating and exhausting. I'm sure some people are very loyal to their one style, and I applaud them for that because quite frankly, I don't have the patience to accomplish such a feat. Because of my lack of dedication to clothing, I beg to ask the question, "What aspect of fashion does define or describe me?" After a stroll down memory lane, I came to the realization that my hair at one point in life was in fact defining me, but then evolved into the role of describing me.

        I discovered the wonderful world of hair dye my sophomore year of high school. While there is an array of hair colors out there, I decided that I wanted to be a red-head. I associated red hair with boldness, sassiness, and uniqueness, and after I said goodbye to my blonde locks, I did feel all of these things. Not many girls in my class were rocking the auburn-hair color, so I felt like I was going
against the grain and stood out from my female peers. It was this red hair that caught the attention of my first serious boyfriend, and you can pretty much guess how the saga proceeded from there. I fell in love with him, would do anything for him because at the time, I thought that proved my "devotion" to him, and ultimately I lost myself in this relationship.

     Because this wasn't the healthiest of relationships, there was a lot of breaking-up and getting-back together. During the break-up periods, I would dye my hair because I figured that if I had a new hair color, then I could be a different person, or more accurately, I could be the person I used to know; a goofy, free-spirited girl. Yet, because I had chosen the impossible-to-dye-over auburn hair color, I had to resort to dying my hair super dark. When I looked in the mirror, I didn't even recognize the person who was staring back at me. BUT, finally, after 2 1/2 years, my toxic relationship was officially over and I began to find myself again. I cut my hair as a way to shed the past 2 1/2 years of my life and I finally got it back to blonde again. In short, I was happy and I was me again.

           I still experiment with my hair, but now it is for all the right reasons. I change my hair because I want to and because I don't feel the need to please anyone except myself. I no longer dye it dark to cover-up my mistakes or chop it off to try to rid myself of negativity. I suppose changing my hair is my own personal art form; I express my free-spirited, go-with-the-flow personality through my different haircuts and hairstyles. When I came to college, I finally got the courage to dye my hair blue and purple
and since then my hair has undergone various transformations like being pink, short, brown, blonde, and shoulder-length (not all at once of course). I have found that my hair is my means of describing myself; not defining myself. I am still that goofy 8 year old girl, who puts frosting on her face and makes a mess; I will always be that girl.