The Need of Acceptance

In society today, it is a common assumption that attractive people have it all going for them. They have great lives and great personalities, everyone wants to be them. This standard of beauty is what everyone aims for. Everyone wants to be accepted and sometimes the cost of being accepted is losing some moral standards. This way of thinking has always been around even in the 18^th and 19^th century, for both women and men acceptance has always been something that needed to be accomplished.

In the 18^th and 19^th century there was a time very concentrated on dresses that are closely fitted to the torso and then loose below. More in the 19^th century dresses with extremely tight torsos and extremely wide skirt. Women in these centuries were expected to dress within their class and to dress to be accepted by their society. The fashion in these times was geared more towards small waist, ample bosom, and inaccessibility. To achieve these ‘norms’ these women had to wear constrictive corsets that would cause medical issues such as curvature of the spine, dislocations of the ribs, dizziness, and headaches.  Some women would even resort to the removal of a few ribs so that waistline stayed small. These women would cause permanent damage to themselves just to be accepted by society and morally that is just inhumane. People shouldn’t have to conform or deform their body just to feel accepted but yet people did it then and are still doing it now.

            In Lauren Ashwell and Rae Langton’s essay Slaves to Fashion, they describe two different types of people one is called a Servile Fashionista, this person is follows fashion authority to the tee. And the Sensible Fashionista, who shops based on their personal interests. “The Servile Fashionista would not dare to wear something absent from the list of acceptable, fashionable apparel… the Sensible fashioinista. She follows fashion not simple because she is told something is “in” but because she judges it to be attractive.”(Ashwell, Langton, pg 143-144). The servile fashionista wants so bad to be accepted that she conforms to the social ‘norms’. Because of this she is the perfect example of someone who is willing to go completely out of their way to fit society’s standards of beauty. While the sensible fashionista chooses what to wear based on what looks good on her, she is still in some way conforming to society’s outlook on beautiful people. If it looks good on her then she will probably buy it. These are basically the two types of people in the world. The thing about this is that a lot of the time, whether you are sensible or servile, and your judgment can be clouded due to you wanting to fit in so badly.

            Believe it or not, there are some benefits to both ethical and aesthetic ways of thinking. With aesthetic life styles you feel accepted by your peers and feel that you are one of the ‘beautiful people’. To a lot of people this can be very enticing but as great as is sounds there are a lot of downsides to an aesthetic life. You live your life seeking the approval of others and you have a hard time finding yourself. With ethical life styles you are living for yourself and you are looking for no one else’s approval. The downside to this way of living is the lack of acceptance, being different can be very difficult and because of that some people will look down on you.

            Personally for me I spent a very long time trying to fit that social norm and trying to be accepted by society. I was constantly changing my style to get people to like me more and it was very difficult for me. Sometimes I was part of the beautiful people but then there were sometimes where I wasn’t. When I was a ‘cool’ kid it turned out to be not as fulfilling as I would have liked it to be. Unfortunately I don’t think I could ever stop completely caring about what other people think of me but I have been getting better.  It has taken me a while but I have, for the most part, started living my life more ethically, I try to live more for myself now. In a perfect world everyone would live for themselves.